I was mindful of the subtle but important difference between “I have to” and “I choose to”. The former forfeits the right to choose and the latter exercises the power of choice. Reminded of the discipline of Essentialism by a dear colleague, I focused on making choices, which meant defining what trade offs I’d be happy with. It wasn’t easy. Having to remind myself that I can choose to respond to another email, or choose to get up and stretch. If I responded to the email, I would also be choosing a stiff back. If I got up to walk and stretch, I would be choosing to finish later. I chose my body and my health. That email can wait.
The result was today was more positive that yesterday. I felt less of a victim of calendar circumstance and more empowered to say yes or no to things. I did recognize that it is easy to slip back into the “I have to” mode. I have to submit my 83(b) form, I have to sanitize this document to share and so on. Equally it was also easy to make choices that made me happy. I choose to play flash cards with Baby Boy O. I choose to break for dinner with English Hubby. It wasn’t perfect, but reminding myself that I have the power of free will and choice is refreshing.

Morning walk

My Bonnie lies over the ocean

Little mementos

First day back blues

Finishing later because I chose to take a stretch break

Choosing a game of flashcards